What Won't Kill Me............Small Victories

I must say I am very proud of the progress being made in reference to my failed engagement.  I know this because yesterday I attended my friend's wedding without feeling depressed or angry.  As I have blogged before, I was once scheduled to walk down the aisle and live happily every after with the one I loved.  Then life  happened......

Every since that faithful day in June 2011, I have dreaded the thought of attending ANYTHING that had to do with weddings.  For the longest time I did not want to see engagement/weddings rings, dresses, pictures, married couples...ANYTHING!  I was too hurt because that was something I no longer had.  My heart was bleeding!

I remember a few weeks after what I have termed to be "D-Day," I was invited to a bridal shower.  I promptly declined and cried for days on end.  The bride-to-be didn't know of the break-up and I want to go into details about why I couldn't attend.  I sent a card and called it a day.  I lost that battle.

About two months later, I ran into a business contact and was asked how the wedding plans were coming alone.  I could barely breathe as I informed her there would be no wedding.  Again, I sobbed for hours in the middle of a conference.  Another battle lost.

Then came what would be MY wedding day.  That was rough!  I called out "sick" that day and stayed in bed.  I was not ready to face the world.  I was supposed to be getting ready for one of the biggest events of my life.  Another battle lost.

In April, I started cleaning out my closet at my mother's home and found my beautiful wedding dress.  Instead of going completely batty, I tried it on and didn't feel the overwhelming flood of emotions.....my first battle was won. 

In that same month, I found tattered pictures of my former life and was able to pack them away.  I may have cried a few tears, but the sadness that normally happens was not there.  Another victory.

I will say that yesterday had to be biggest challenge and victory.  I will be honest, as the beautiful bride walked down the aisle and later around the reception greeting her guest, I could not help but to wonder what my day would've been like.  The difference between now and 14 months ago is I held my head high and know that that wedding was not meant to be. 

My ex told me one day during the mist of a heated argument, "What don't kill you will make you stronger." I had no idea how true that that would be.  While I'm not sure how much longer this war will last,I'm glad I'm fighting!

 

She is NOT Her Hair

"I am not my hair, I am not this skin....I am not your expectations no, no. I am not my hair, I am not this skin.....I am a soul that lives within" - India.Irie

Every four years society is treated to the Olympic games, in which the best atheletes from around the world compete in 26 different sporting events. The Games include several ranging from basketball to water polo to fencing to swimming to vollyball (team and beach). My overall favorite is the men/women's gymnastic competition.

The sheer strenth, flexibility, and grace of the gymnists have ALWAYS amazed me. When I was a child, I would flip around in the living room trying to mimic the moves. I loved seeing women who looked like me compete on a global stage. This year we were treated to viewing the talents on Gabby Douglas. The lone African American on the female team. She wasn't highly touted like her other team members. It wasn't until she shined in the various events to help Team USA win the Gold that the media started talking about her and her story.

After she made history by being the first US woman to will the All-Around competition, the "crab in a barrel" mentality reared it's ungly head. On social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook, black women were complaining about her hair! Not that she made history and is a positive role model for young girls, but her hair.  Not that she is a God fearing teenager, but her hair. Not that she showed how hard work and sacrifice can pay off, but her hair!

I was BEYOND pissed that society wanted to take away from her shining moment. This young lady is competing against the best of the best from other countries and we show our support by discussing her hair. While she is making history, "black Twitter" was complaining that her mother should be shot for letting her go on national television in some way.

I find it funny that Gabby didn't let her "hair" get in the way of achieving her dreams. Yet, black women sit around EVERYDAY being unhealthy because they don't want to mess up their hair! Yes, their hair is fly, but there health is NOT! I salute Gabby for not entertaining the negative talk and being who God created her to be. She is NOT her hair!

Supporting the Enemy...But It Was Fun

I've been blessed to have a job which requires me to travel all around the globe.  I've had the opportunity to visit several US states, Guam, Yokosuka, Misawa and hopefully some of Europe.  These are places that I would NEVER visit on my own.

This past week I have been in Dallas, TX.  Let me start by saying I'm not about  the 110 degree day life.  I've walked outside around 10pm and the temp is still in the mid-90s!!! I'm talking about sweating and all I did was walk across the street.

When I travel I ALWAYS bring my favorite jean jacket with me.  It's my favorite because I hand painted the Washington Redskins logo on it.  Of course, I had to wear it in Dallas since they are the rival team.  When I landed, I walked in the airport team shop just because, lol.

While I was here I made it a goal to go visit the new stadium in Arlington, TX.  It looks so beautiful on TV and there was so much hoopla about it while it was being built.  After a little research I found out that the stadium allows self guided tours for only $17.50.  Not bad, guess Jerry Jones needs the extra money to pay back that loan, lol.


A group of young ladies and I hopped in the rental after class and made the 30 minute or so drive to Texas stadium.  It was super easy to find and of course there was plenty of parking.  We purchased our tickets and the self guided tour began in the Pro Shop.

After taking some pictures and purchasing a few items for family and friends we made our way up the steps to the second level.  The view from the corner was AMAZING!  I could see the entire field without my glasses.  The super jumbotron really does take up 60 yards.  After taking a few pictures of the entire field we walked down on the field.

Standing on that field was bananas!  I've been to several NFL games, but never have I been able to stand on the field.  My adrenaline was rushing something serious.  Of course I had to stand in the endzone, on the infamous "star" and the sideline.  One of the field operators, Danyelle, was very sweet and helpful even though I was wearing my Redskins' jacket.

I took several pictures in almost every area we were given access.  I clowned on the field for at least 30 mins.  I did a backbend on the star, kicked a field goal and "caught" a pass.  I honestly has such a good time.  The locker room was beautiful!  The lockers cost about 9 grand each and is made out of some wood imported from Africa.

The tour allowed us to run through the tunnel and visit the media room.  After all of that we ended right back in the Pro Shop.  I will admit that I had a ball and there was no game being played.  I can only imagine what the game day experience is like......I plan to find out!

I've made a vow to visit the local stadium/arena whenever I am on travel.  It was so much fun and I'm sure other venues will be the same.  Some people like to visit museums....I like to visit sports venues. :-)