House Boo Shopping

I’ve expressed a few times on the blog my desire to purchase another home in the next year or so. 

I want to own a house that I can turn into my own personal resort……Where each day I open the door and immediately feel relaxed. 

I want a place my friends and family can retreat too when their world gets to crazy. 

I want a small piece of the state where I can host gatherings to watch a show, celebrate a milestone or enjoy a holiday. 

Home ownership is a part of the “American Dream”…..My dream.

But damn is it hard!!!!!  This is not my first purchase; however, this is the first time I am doing this alone.

There are so many things you have to take into consideration before signing your name on the dotted line.

How much are you pre-approved for….

What style of home would you like…..

How many bedrooms/bathrooms…..

Basement…..

Neighborhood…..

HOA fees…..

Access to necessities……

Property Taxes…….

Not only that, but most of the houses currently on the market are short sales, so you have to see what feels like hundreds of homes before you find a home in good condition.  Not to mention short sales are more like long sales because of the time it takes for an offer accepted by the bank. 

If you find a good home, you have to make an offer immediately!  The homes in “move in” condition are snatched up so fast, it doesn’t make any sense. 

It’s almost like finding a mate.

Just like purchasing a home, you have to take your needs/wants into consideration when dating and/or selecting a mate. 

What type of relationship do you want…..

What about his/her physical appearance….

Education or no…..

Religious/spiritual…..

Kids or no kids…..

Long distance or local…..

Lawd, help me!!!!  I’m in the throes of both processes; pray for me.

Deal or No Deal......

I'm not a big game show fan because I am not a big risk taker; small risks I will take.  Some would disagree with this statement because I took the ultimate risk when I purchased a townhome with my then fiance three years ago.  

On NBC there is a show entitled Deal or No Deal.  On this show the game revolves around the opening of a set of numbered briefcases, each of which contains a different cash amount. The contents, cash value, of all of the cases are known at the start of the game, but the specific location of any dollar amount is unknown. The contestant selects a case to begin the game. The case's value is not revealed until the conclusion of the game.

The contestant then begins choosing cases that are to be removed from play. The amount inside each chosen case is immediately revealed; by process of elimination, the amount revealed cannot be inside the case the contestant initially selected. Throughout the game, after a predetermined number of cases have been opened, the banker offers the contestant an amount of money to quit the game, the offer based roughly on the amounts remaining in play and the contestant's demeanor, the bank tries to 'buy' the contestant's case for a lower price than what's inside the case. The player then answers the titular question, choosing:

• "Deal", accepting the offer presented and ending the game, or
• "No Deal", rejecting the offer and continuing the game.

Well a few weeks ago, while visiting my townhome in Bowie, the ex-fiance offered me a deal to buy me out of the house.  Of course I don't agree with his deal; I think he is trying to get over on me....BIG TIME!  On the other hand, at least he offered me something.  For the last 18 months his offer has been nothing!

Those months an discussions have been filled with anger, frustration, heart ache, threats, blood, and LOTS of tears.  I'm honestly tired of playing this game with him.  The mental impact is taking its toll on me.  It almost seems that regardless of my decision, I'm getting screwed.  

Now I feel like the contestant standing in front of the red button.  If I smash the button, then I am taking the deal. If I cover it up, I'm passing and holding out for something better.  Time is ticking and I have to make a decision.....Deal or no deal!

Just for laughs......Def not trying to end up like them, lol

It's About to Get Real........Estate Included

In 2009 I purchased a townhome with my then fiancé in "new" Bowie.  It was a lovely end unit with three bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms and unfinished basement.  This was suppose to be our starter home.  We planned to stay there for 4-6 years and then move into something bigger. 

During the first year we finished the basement, updated the half bathroom and started turning it into a home.  It was filled with love, laughter, good times and our "baby girl" Storm.  It was a home.  Although we hadn't set a wedding date, we were still scheduled to get hitched.  But things changed.

At a rapid pace, we stopped communicating, stopped loving, stop respecting.  The dwelling became a house.  In the end I left the beautiful townhouse in "new" Bowie (for good).  I left my dog, friends and the one man that was supposed to be my husband.  It was ugly, but for health reasons I couldn't stay and fight for what was legally mine.

I moved out to Columbia to stay with my parents at 30 years old.  I was and still am partly embarrassed of this fact.  I told my mom I would stay for one year and then attempt to purchase a house on my own, even though my name is on another mortgage.  My goal was to save as much as my shopaholic heart would allow in an effort to have a down payment for a conventional loan.

We are approaching June and I must say I'm blessed because I'm half way to my savings goal.  I told myself I wanted to save between $18-21k.  Every payday I transfer money into a savings account that I try not to touch.  I pay my tithes and other bills, living off of whatever is left.  It's difficult at times, but God sustains me. I honestly believe it is because I tithe faithfully.

In a week or so I am scheduled to meet with my ex to discuss what to do with our current house.  He lives there, pays the bill and from what I know has been entertaining another female there.  It's time for my name to come off of that house so I can close that chapter and move on.  Things are about to get real because over the past year, every time we tried to discuss a buy-out we could never agree. 

I'm not sure what to expect at this meeting or if he will show up...and with who!  If he is bold enough to sleep with women in a house I still have a key too, then I have no doubt he is bold enough to bring her to this meeting.  I know it's going to be emotional and I'm not too sure I'm ready to deal with it.  He knows how to get under my skin and has no problem doing so.

It is my hope that I come out alive and free.  I pray the meeting goes well; there is no leftover hurt or love lost between the two of us.  In a perfect world I wouldn't be dealing with this, but I am.  My best hope is I get back what I put into the home and we agreed to end our relationship, if it can be called that, on good terms.  I believe after six years together we each deserve that.  

From there, I'll continue to save and when winter time comes I'll start looking for "Casa de Rose."  A place to call my own where I can start to rebuild my life.  I thought the after effects of the breakup were hard, but as the time nears for me to fly one my own I'm realizing things are about to get REAL!