Dreams

I've been on work-related travel for the past four weeks.  Between the airports, long drives, sleepless nights and tons of work I realized I stopped dreaming.

Somewhere over the past 2-3 years I stopped wanting to impact the world.....change myself for the better.....love again.....live again......

I wish I knew the reason why this happened, but at least I realized that I was walking around unfulfilled.   It would be wonderful to know why I have no motivation to do anything.  Why I continue to stay stagnant.  Why I stopped living.

But I doubt I ever will.  I guess the first step was to admit that I stopped dreaming.

I have no idea what the next step is.  I will attempt to motivate myself and get back to dreaming....living....loving.  All of those things start with me.

Internally, I'm still battling some issues of guilt, low self esteem, feelings of failure, etc.

I have to accept myself and my past for what it is.  There are things I can change about myself, but NOTHING I can do about the past.

The way I see it is I have about two months to get a plan together and execute it.  I could just wait until 2015, but I want to dream again.

Coming Out

So I’m slowly but surely coming out of my two week funk, albeit 7 pounds heavier, lol.

I’m so happy to be somewhat back to my regular routine…..quick AM workout, work, PM workout, errands, meal prepping and the such.

For the better parts of two weeks I’ve been walking around like Eore L  That is SO not me!  I’m normally cheerful…energic…sunny!

For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out and I still can’t.  A part of me thinks it’s Mother Nature’s fault because of this crazy weather and normal woman issues.  Perhaps that would explain me eating so much sugar, lol.

Whatever!

I’m focused on having a great spring. Whatever it is that was/is trying to stop me…….WON’T!