I'm Doing Me......................

Priority is defined as a preferential rating; especially : one that allocates rights to goods and services usually in limited supply <that project has top priority> or something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives.

I want to be a priority to someone.

I want to have the preferential rating.

I want given/merited attention before competing alternatives.

The last few months I haven’t felt like a priority….…Not even to myself. 

Everyone expects me to drop whatever it is I am doing and tend to them.  Their needs.

What the FUCK about me??  What about my needs, wants, dreams, aspirations? 

It seems as if no one cares about ME.  Somehow I also brought into that belief as well and stopped making me important so I can make sure others are happy.  It’s something I’ve done since childhood.

When my dad would hit my mom, I would make sure she was ok. 

When my MeMa passed, I was the one who ordered my mother’s cold pop and asprins on the flight….I was only 6.

When my brothers, mother, or father needed money, I would make a withdrawal from the bank.

When my best friend was heart-broken and needed her “Bestie” even though I was hundreds of miles away, I hopped on a flight and flew home.

When my best friend’s house caught fire, I opened up my home.

When someone needs a wakeup call, I wake up earlier to make sure they get up.

When my ex got hurt on the job AFTER we broke up, I tended to his wounds.

When my nephew needs clothes/shoes, I head to the store.

When my friends are going through, I pray for them instead of “storms”.

When my co-worker asks for my help with his eating, I go to the store to stock the work area with healthy foods.

But when I need something, it’s rare that someone makes me and my needs a priority.  They will get to me when they “have the time”.

I have to turn from this destructive behavior. 

I want to be number one in someone’s life.  Not their friends, habits, addictions, etc.  Me!

I want someone to treat me the way I treat them. 

Until I find someone ready and willing to make me a priority in their life, I’m going to make me a priority in my own.  It’s all about me….Just call me selfish!