Closure

 Closure: an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality (Merriam Webster)

Have you ever wondered why you and someone no longer speak or why things didn’t work out? I find myself doing it ALL the time.  “Why are me and (insert name) not friends anymore?  We were so cool in college.”  “Why did me and (insert male/female name) not work out? Things were going so well and then things went south.”  Now I totally understand the concept of “growing apart” and people are in your life for a “reason, season or lifetime.”  But still, there is something about not having proper closure that bothers me.

Perhaps it is because I use every situation as a learning experience.  I learn things about myself and others, hence allowing me to grow and not hold on to much baggage.  Lord knows, I already have enough “bags” (bitterness) already.  Or maybe it’s because when I was growing up I never quite received the closure I needed from my dad about why he left?  I don’t know…..it’s just something about closure that I like. It does not matter in what form the closure comes in…email, face-to-face, phone, text, Skype, whatever!! *shrug*

For a while I carried a lot of baggage because of the lack of relationship I had with my father.  I was never able to experience being a “daddy’s girl”.  Him and my mother separated when I was 6 years old and from that point on he was in and out of my life.  There were no talks about boys, teaching me how to change a tire/oil, interrogating dates, him telling me how beautiful I was….none of that.  For a while that REALLY bothered me, there was a void that needed to be filled.  Thank God for my step-father!  While he didn’t do everything, he filled in quite nicely….Thanks dad!!! And what he didn't know/do my God father did, so I was straight :-)

In almost every relationship I have been in there has been some sort of closure and for the most part we are able to remain cool if not friends.  I am not an arguer (but I will debate you to death, lol) and I like to end things on good terms.  There is no need for yelling, cussing, fighting, etc.....that is so 9^th grade.  Having that closure conversation allows both parties to get out any emotions and answer any “what-if” questions. 

There are a couple of situations I have going on right now in which I would love some closure….I requested it, let’s see if it happens….

What are your thoughts on closures? Have you ever been in a situation in which you did not get it?  How did you get over the failed relationship?