Road Trip Haikus

This weekend Itook my first road trip to North Carolina with my girls.  We had a blast, to say the least. I summed up my weekend in a series of haikus.

North Carolina
My first road trip with my girls
Foolishness abounds

She is so prissy
Reliving her college days
NC Chapel Hill

Head in her pasta
Exhaling at the site of
Dasani Water

I love my Whit-ty
She is growing up so fast
Wolfpack represent

No Friday night shows
Amel Larrieux had sound woes
Art of Cool was, eh

We ate So much food
From Krispy Kreme to Cook-Out
I can't fit my pants

We were all white girls
Jamming to our favorite  tunes
Jagged Little Pill

I want to move South
Southern hospitality
Changing my zip code

Battlefield

Dark days
Ebony nights
Blackouts and pain

My soul is aching, mind racing
I see pieces of my spirit slain before my eyes
Each defeat chipping away at what’s left of my sanity
The devil’s taunts are louder than the angels’ singing

My breastplate is bruised.
My belt is unbuckled.
My helmet is barely on.
My shoes are undone.
My sword…..yea, what sword?

I’m in the heat of a battle I keep trying to fight alone.
Darts of pass transgressions stain my new white garment.
No matter how I try to hide or duck/dodge, I can’t seem to win this war.
I’m standing as an army of one in the midst a million adversaries.

In my attempt to run I fall to my knees.
2 Chron 20:17a, “You do not have to fight in THIS battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you.”

On my knees I stand
Still
Unmovable
While my Father conquers my battles

Critique Dates

Last night I attended Bible study at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden; as I have done for the past four or five months.  I was expecting a “normal” Bible study…You know where the Pastor Jenkins has a topic with several points to follow.  Well I guess Pastor was not in the mood for all of that, so he decided to have a Q&A session.  My immediate response was to leave…..because I came to study the Bible….duh!

However, something in me decided to stay and it was an interesting time.  Most of those who were brave enough to ask questions asked relationship-type questions.  Be it harsh critique from a spouse to over-bearing parents in relationships to marrying someone because they are with child. 

The awesome thing about these questions was the Pastor shared insight into his relationship with the First Lady.  While he expressed how they were friends for years first and how she is the ultimate Christian woman, they have been able to make it through the “winter” seasons by communicating.

While that is nothing new, the way he framed it was.  In addition to “date” nights they also have “critique” night.  Nights were they sit down and listen.  Like REALLY listen.  They talk about the thing(s) the other has done to hurt them over a period of time.  They discuss ways to effectively communicate with one another.   

Just like that performance feedback your supervisor gives you at work throughout the year.  You know the conversations where they tell you what you are doing right, wrong and ways to improve to meet the objectives of your position.  Some of those conversations are good, while others are bad.  In any event, they are ALL useful.

I love that!  Most times in pervious relationships I either didn’t say anything when I felt hurt or I would say it in the wrong ways.  I would blow up. I wouldn’t articulate myself in a manner that would get my point across.  I would say things out of hurt and that never solved a thing.   

Going forward, I want to do things differently.  I want to have a healthy relationship all the way around.  I’m a firm believer that miscommunication is just as bad as lack of trust.  Without communication a relationship is destined to end.  It just is.  There is no way to cultivate a relationship that is dead.

My Pastor and his wife have been married for over 33 years.  I’m just trying to make it to 33 weeks, lol.  I think I will institute those “critique” nights to learn how to communicate with my dude….Maybe then I can make it to 33 months and hopefully one day, 33 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR5J5jUDcnA

Coming Out

So I’m slowly but surely coming out of my two week funk, albeit 7 pounds heavier, lol.

I’m so happy to be somewhat back to my regular routine…..quick AM workout, work, PM workout, errands, meal prepping and the such.

For the better parts of two weeks I’ve been walking around like Eore L  That is SO not me!  I’m normally cheerful…energic…sunny!

For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out and I still can’t.  A part of me thinks it’s Mother Nature’s fault because of this crazy weather and normal woman issues.  Perhaps that would explain me eating so much sugar, lol.

Whatever!

I’m focused on having a great spring. Whatever it is that was/is trying to stop me…….WON’T!

Tina's Pain

I love Mary Mary!  I love their music, style and most importantly, class.  I have been an advocate of their reality series when it started almost three years ago.

So I just finished watching last night’s episode of Mary Mary entitled Cover Girls.  In short, this episode shows what Tina is going through a few days before the release of an Ebony magazine article where she details that her husband has an affair.  What makes this episode so real is that after giving the article, Tina finds out that there were multiple affairs. 

What REALLY got to me was the hurt that she showed.  How vulnerable she was.  The disappointment she shared.  The shame and embarrassment she felt.

When watching, I saw myself.  I could identify with how she felt, as a few years ago I saw my own relationship hit rock bottom……..mostly because of me and my immaturity.

My heart and prayers go out to her because that level of pain is so difficult to deal with.  To feel like what you worked for was a fraud is a feeling like no other.

When I think about my past, I’m able to fully understand where as if I had not been through a similar experience I would not be able to connect.

I thank Mary Mary for sharing their truth….and in this moment I thank God that He allowed me to overcome.

Check out the episode!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlKMKBxqyRo