2016 is Gonna Happen Because, lls...................

"If you have to invite your best friend to your wedding, you are marrying the wrong person." - Unknown

I've blogged many times about my closest, Pook, and the wonderful friendship that we have shared over the past 6 years.  A few months ago, after finishing up the Charm City 5K, we grabbed a bite to eat and devised a relationship contingency plan, lol. We realized that we may both be single for a while and could possibly have a successful marriage based on what we know about each other. 

The plan is basically if we are both single in 2015 then we would date each other and marry in 2016.  2014 would be used as a year for us to "date" and get our financials in order, if needed.  We are both very serious about our money, lol.  We figured we would need the year of dating so folks don't look at us like we are strange when we send out wedding invitations, lol.

Now I know this seems silly too some, including one of my good girlfriends.  She doesn't understand why him and I cannot date now.  She gave me a 10 minute lecture how I was agreeing to be his "plan B" and how I was better than that.  Her point was if we are so serious and open about getting together in a few years, why not just do it now since we are both at the stage in our lives where we are seeking true companionship and love. 

I honestly didn't have an answer to the question, so I asked Pook via text and his response was "because, lls!"  A typical Pook answer; he is such a non-conformist.  That response was not detailed enough for my friend and she kept probing me about how I see him and how he sees me.  Of course none of my responses suited her fancy.  

I will say her questioning got me to thinking while I was on my 3-hour flight to Dallas.  I started to wonder could I really see myself with him in that way.  To be honest, I still don't have an answer.  I know we communicate well, have a lot in common, encourage each other when needed and find each other attractive in some way, shape and/or form.  We have even talked of opening a business or creating a product that will allow us to retire in the next 15 years. We really plan to be in each other lives for a lifetime.  

 I have been asked by several people are we dating because we are always attending public events together, talking for hours, buying each other small trinkets, etc.   I find that to be odd because I don't think either one of us has thought of the other in that way.  In fact, we have both suggested friends for each other to date.  Maybe there is something that neither one of us can see.  The old adage says "it's hard to see the forest from the trees." The funny thing is we are sitting in the trees together *shrug*  What I do know is he will make a GREAT husband to whomever he marries because he is a GREAT friend to me!

Either way it goes I will ALWAYS have my closest...but if the plan happens, I'll have the best of both worlds :-) Do any of your have a contingency plan with your best friend?  What are your thoughts on our 2016 plans?

**UPDATE**

So Pook and I discussed why we never dated and it is because we both assumed we were in the friend-zone with each other.  Our friendship was/is so cool, comfortable and neither one of us thought to bring it up. 

In another turn of events, we have wedding colors, a ring style, song for the first dance, and name(s) for the kid(s) lol.  We have also changed our status on FB, bwahahahaha!

Unequal Death

*Sigh* I really hate to write about the same topic twice in one week, but I feel the need to address what's going on in Chicago from another perspective.

On Friday, 20 Jul 12, the unthinkable happened in a small Colorado town just miles from the tragic Columbine Massacre.  A 24 year old gunman opened fire in a PACKED movie theater as patrons watched the beginning of the newest Batman film.

When it was all said and done, 12 individuals died and over 70 others were injured.  The youngest victim was only 3 months old.  Three young men took bullets for their girlfriends.  Parents took bullets for their children.

Naturally, there was media EVERYWHERE!!  Celebrities tweeting their condolences.  NFL players calling and paying visits to the survivors.  The various law enforcement agencies working day and night to get into this man's apartment.

After my initial shock, my mind could not help but wonder where is that same level of urgency for the citizens of Chicago.  Where were the celebrity tweets? NFL player visits? Media attention?  Law enforcement working around the clock?

It hurts me to my heart that the senseless killings in Colorado seem to be more important than the same type of senseless killings in Chicago.  In both cases, innocent lives were loss.  In both cases, communities are devastated.  But both cases are not being treated fairly. *Sigh*

When will we as a society view senseless killings the same?  When will we unite as a country to protect the people that live in it.  When will we as a country cherish every life?  When will we all come together to stop the violence?

The Poet.....................

While cleaning out a laptop bag for a friend to use on an upcoming business trip I found a crumpled up piece of paper.  Instead of throwing it away, I opened it to find a poem I wrote over 7 years ago.  I think I have wrote maybe two other pieces since that time.  One for my ex fiance and I can't remember the other. 

It's funny because I remember writing it and what I was going through just by looking it the title.  Someone was asking me why I continued to be nice and positive despite the cards I've been dealt in life. 

Like Jesus

What if Jesus gave up and let His heart turn hard?

Turned His back on the world and was never scarred. 

Never played the cards He was given, 

So the sins of the world could be forgiven.

What if when on Calvary He got down off the cross?

Mumbled to Himself, "Forget the world, let them stay loss!"

Took the nails out His hands and ankles.  Tossed the thorns off His head-

Never dying so He could become what the church calls the "bread".

What if He never preached the Word?

Never letting God's truth be heard. 

Leaving us on earth to fend for ourselves,

While looking down from heaven while we sit on the Devil's shelf.

What if He left me to go through life's storms alone?

Never listening to my prayers and groans.

Turning a deaf ear as I cry out in pain;

Leaving me alone soaking in rain. 

But He didn't!

I do what I do because I prayed to be more like Him!

In the book of Matthew, chapter 5 it says don't let your light shine dim. 

If they persecuted Jesus then they will surely persecute me. 

He though He gave up His life so we all could be free. 

I do what I do because I'm made in His image.

I'm here to play in the game, not just the scrimmage. 

True, at times I set myself up to fail. 

But I know when He comes for His bride, the church I will be wearing a veil.

I do what I do because I am pure at heart.

I've been that way since the very start!

I will complete my purpose given to me by the Son;

So on judgement day He will say to me "Well done!" ©

*snaps finger*

At the bottom was a note to my former Pastor asking could the work be published in the monthly paper.....it was. 

The New LeBron.........Superman No More

"In this fall, this is very tough, in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat." - LeBron James, 8 Jul 10

In the summer for 2010, almost the entire world, especially basketball fans, were on the edge of their seats as they awaited for LeBron "the King" James to announce what team he would be playing for in the 2010-2011 season.  There were rumors about his decision well before the regular season ended.  The media tracked his EVERY move.  It was a mess!


Towards mid-summer ESPN and LeBron James decided to host "The Decision" in which he would tell the world what they wanted to know.  In the days leading up to the hour long program sports writers, fans, current/former athletes blasted the show.  They called him selfish, pompous, arrogant, attention/media whore and other names.......myself included.  **Side Note: Honestly, I'm not a fan but that's neither here nor there**


I remember thinking to myself, "My Dwight (Howard) would NEVER do anything like that.  He is committed to wining a title with Orlando" as I was watching all of the attention surrounding where this ONE player was going to land.  At that point in time I was a Dwight Howard fan.  I would defend him to the finish.  Talk about his poor free throw shooting and I was pointing out a flaw in [insert player name]'s game.  


I LOVED Dwight!  More so for his personality than his play on the court.  In my eyes he wasn't a cry baby like Kobe.  Arrogant like LeBron.  Angry like Kevin G.  He loved the game with child like passion and it showed in his demeanor on the court.  He was always smiling, laughing and joking while helping his team get into the playoffs.  I could watch his interview for hours because of his personality....and his chocolate muscles :-)


Never did I imagine he would turn into LeBron James.  Like LeBron, Howard has thrown SEVERAL temper tantrums and has strung his team along since March of last year.  Hell, he even got a coach fired like LeBron!  His actions have caused me to no longer be a fan.


In an interview after the Magic lost to the Cavs, Dwight said something to the effect of he hopes to be like James one day.  I thought he was talking about on the court, not off.  Dwight is acting like a child whose parents won't buy him [insert popular toy here].  He is acting a damn fool in the middle of the store.  In my eyes he went from being Super Man to not being a man at all.


Congratulations, you are now the new LeBron James!  


  

Summer Heaters

I am a firm believer that the crime rate is lower in the winter across the nation.  When watching the nightly news or reading national news online there seems to be less killings.  Perhaps it's because murders don't like cold, rainy weather or perhaps they are too busy watching sports or preparing for the holidays or are in school.  I have no clue.

It seems once the weather heats up, folks bring out the heaters.  Over the past few weeks, especially in Chicago, there has been a tremendous increase in shootings.  So many young, innocent men and women losing their lives for nothing.

It makes me wonder, will the mass amount of murders ever stop? Why are the crimes being committed in the first place? What are the police doing? Where are the parents? Mentors? National media outrage?

Late last month a 10 year old girl was caught in the cross fire of a gun fight. Some 275 people have been murdered in all.  It was then that the Mayor addressed the prooblem in an interview.   His main objective was to blame it on the gangs.  He and his team need to adress why there are so many young people in gangs to begin with.

It seems that majority of the killings are due to gangs. There is debate on which Police Chief has the best policies, but no debate on the REAL reason behind the foolishness. Perhaps there is so much violence because of the culture in the area. Or maybe there are so many young adults who feel the only way to solve a problem is by killing. Or maybe some want to go to jail because they know they will have access to food, shelter, education.

As a young, black woman I feel for the area, our children.  Parents losing their child(ren) to foolishness.  The question I find myself asking is what can I do? I live a few thousand miles away, how can I effect change in that area?  I'm not exactly sure, but I am going to research some options.  This foolishness needs to STOP.  Even if that includes electing different officials who care.

Sending prayers up to all of those affected by the horrific events unfolsing in the area.