Need to Know vs Half Truths

"A half truth is a whole lie" - Yiddish Proverb

What exactly is a "half truth"?  Merrian-Webster defines is as "a statement that mingles truth and falsehood with deliberate intent to deceive."  

I needed an example, so I went to my trusted, but untrusted friend, Wikipedia.  Wiki's first example reads "You should not trust Peter with your children. I once saw him smack a child with his open hand." In this example the statement could be true, but Peter may have slapped the child on the back because he was choking.

Ok, got it.  A half truth is not telling someone every detail.  I'm sorry to say, that I am guilty of this type of lie.  I honestly didn't see anything wrong with this.  I choose not to tell every detail not because I am deliberately trying to deceive someone, but because I didn't think the detail was of any importance.  The way I see it is it's either none of that persons business or that detail(s) has no bearing on the point of the statement itself.    Apparently, I am in the minority on this one.  

A good male friend of mine became very upset with me because I did not tell him the "whole truth" about my comings and goings.  According to him, I should have told him every bit of detail as it pertains to my whereabouts.  He felt I should have told him where I was going and who I was going with.  Now, this is NOT my man, we are not dating, talking, courting, etc....we are just FRIENDS.  

I'm am at a loss as to why I have to explain myself to him.  The only person I have to explain myself too is the person I am in a relationship with, and that is IF I want too.  There should be enough trust in the friendship/relationship where I shouldn't have to articulate my EVERY move.  I should be able to say, "Yeah, I went to the mall today with some of the girls."  Now, did I run into any of my male friends....yes.  But do I need to tell him that?

I live my life on the "need to know" theory.  If I am in some sort of committed relationship, then yes, I tell you everything you need to know.  If we are in a sexual relationship, then yes, I need to tell you if I decide to sleep with someone else.  I'll explain myself in detail to those that I have too.  But if we are just friends, kicking it, etc...then you don't get that luxury....sorry.  

It hurts me that my good male friend feels like I've deceived him in some way, shape or fashion; but I just don't see it.  Perhaps it was my fault for being so forthright with all of my comings/goings.  Maybe I should've provided him with every detail, but I know for a fact he didn't do the same with me.  Not sure what is going to happen to our friendship because he seems pretty upset.  My only question to him is, why?  

Is there more to this "friendship" that I didn't know about?  Does he secretly have feelings I don't know about? Is this the expectation he has on all of his friends?   

Until he can answer one of those questions, if not all then he is one less person I have to worry about. I will miss the friendship, fun, advice, laughs, etc....but I refuse to provide answers to someone who doesn't deserve them.  

What are your thoughts on half truths?  Am I wrong?  Is he wrong?

Adult ADD

Sometimes you know what you want and other times you don't.  A friend of mine stated he doesn't believe I fully know what I want.  I will say that I  agree with him in some aspects.  I have ideas about what I want both professionally and personally, but there are times when my focus changes.

For the past 8 years I have served as a Program Manager of the Civil Rights Program for my agency.  I do everything from process complaints of discrimination to training to reporting to Special Emphasis Programs.  At times I am challenged and I love it.  I love empowering employees when I train.  I also love the investigative side of things.  There are times when I feel unfulfilled and I look to change career fields.

I currently hold two degrees, a BA in Human Relations (profit and non-profit) and an MPA.  I also completed a Graduate Certificate in Intelligence Analysis.  As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I am also studying to become a Certified Personal Trainer/Group Exercise Instructor.  Most recently I thought about pursuing a law degree.  What can I say, I love school.

From a professional standpoint I have applied for jobs in other career groups.  It seems as if my list of degrees shows I have some sort of ADD.  My skills are all over the place.  I guess you can say I am a jack of all trades and a master of none....although I consider myself a subject matter expert as it relates to civil rights, lol.

Personally, I'm talking relationship-wise, I want REAL love.  I want the fairy tale...I'm a helpless romantic.  I want  the husband and a child.  I want to give this ocean  of love I have inside of me to one person.  There is SO much inside of me that it is hard to contain.

Now the qualities that he, my husband, possesses changes...often.  Since D-Day, I have been going back and forth about what I will and will not accept the next  time I enter into a SERIOUS relationship with someone.  Maybe I keep changing my standards because I'm learning that things are very different from the last time I was single.  I'm also learning that no one is perfect, myself included, and there may be no "perfect man."

Whatever the situation, my friend has me thinking.  When I was in counseling a while back I was given an exercise to write down my wants, needs and dislikes.  Perhaps I need to visit that exercise again in hopes it will give me some direction.....professionally and presonally.

Warfare of the Spiritual Nature

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. - Ephesians 6:12

There is a SERIOUS battle between good and bad….light and darkenss….right and wrong going on in my life.  I’m honest enough with myself to know that the devil, and his demons for that matter, are wrestling angels for my soul.  My issue is I can’t figure out why. 

I consider myself to be a Christian according to church standards.  I’ve confessed my sins, on several occassions, and believed in my heart that God sent His only Son who died on the cross for my sins.  I pray regularly, tithe, serve in ministry, and so forth.  Am I the “perfect” Christian? No!  I’m sure I’ve given the devil an inch and he is trying to take a mile. 

Now before I get into the struggle, let me say I do read scripture and meditate on His Word as I try to interrupt what it means to me.  I also pray daily for forgiveness, my purpose, my enemies, etc.  At times I write letters ot journal entires to God as a way of communicating with Him. 

So here’s the battle….I find that when I have nothing to do or I am laying in bed attempting to fall asleep I have both positive and negative thoughts.  Like I will have a gospel song in my head and in the blink of an eye I will begin to think about the situation with my ex.  I can be in the midst of a “mind conversation” with God and I will think about hugging/kissing a man.  I can be reading my Bible and start telling myself that I am fat, ugly, etc.  This cycle is getting on my nerves!!!

Now I have prayed SEVERAL times for God to renew my mind and heart….especially when it comes to my ex.  It’s funny because I will fine, no thoughts of him, and then all of a sudden I have a flood of thoughts concerning him.   Not the “oh I want us to get back together thoughts” but thoughts/dreams of him being evil towards me or having his new piece living in “my house”.  A few of the thoughts are about me being a “itch” towards him as well and in the next breath I tell myself that my previous thought was wrong.

 

My Grandma Moore told me a long time ago that when there is a serious battle/storm/test going on in your life that the Master, she loves calling Him that, is gettng ready to bless me big time and the devil is mad.  She also told me the closer I get to God the harder the devil fights because he wants my soul.  I also know from studying the Word that whatever the devil does, he MUST get permission from God to do it.   I also know this battle is not even about me….I’m just the middle man.

I’m tired of being the middle man, but when I gave my life to Christ I agreed to be used by Him.  This battle is intensifying and all I can do is  continue to take the negative thoughts captive as they come.  Lord, can You please hurry up and win this war???

Hola!!!!!

I must say if you every have the chance to experience other cultures, do it!  Over the past week I have been blessed with the opportunity to visit Spain and I am now on my way to Italy.  I must say getting to Spain was a bit of a challenge because my flight from BWI to Philly was cancelled.  Thankfully, US Airways will drive all international passengers as far as Newark, NJ so he/she can make their international connecting flight. 

The seven hour flight from Philly to Madrid wasn’t bad, even thought I was sitting in coach.  The food was good and I had enough room to be comfortable.  The plane had various movies for me to watch, which is a lot different from the last time I went overseas.  I used the seven hours to sleep, watch Hunger Games and Unstoppable.  

I’ve noticed that when you are leaving outside the continential US, the flight attendants are from wahtever country you are going too.  Having both Spainish and English flight attendants made the boarding process easy. They were able to work together to resolve any seating issues.  

Spain is some six hours ahead of the east coast, so when I landed I was TIRED!  The command I was visiting provided me an awesome sponsor who drove me all around the surrounding areas to ensure I didn’t go to sleep.  Lawd knows I was done. 

Rota, Spain was nothing like I every seen.  This time of year the tempature is sunny, yet cool.  There is a lot of open area, almost country-like.  According to my sponsor, the Spanish built their cities very small and close while they were fighting in various wars.  They used it as some sort of defense tatic. 

The Spanish way of life is very laid back.  They start work between 8-10am, unless they work for the US military.  Around 2-3pm, everything shuts down and the Spanish siesta.  Most go have lunch with their familes, nap and hit the beach.  Around 5-6pm, they wake-up and get ready for the night.

The nightlife is CRAZY!  Dinner is not until 9-10pm and is very small.   The dinners also include coffee, which is 10 times as strong asa what is served in the US.  They choose to eat tapas style versus a big meal.  In the restrurants, they stay for hours and talk without anyone saying anything.  Some of the bars don’t open until 1am and close around 4am.  The Spanish party six days a week!!! 

I also learned Spain is so close to so many other countries like Portugal, Africa, Italy and a British Terrority.  Needless to say, I will be researching a group trip back out there with the hopes of hitting Northern Spain, Africa and the British Terrority. 

The next stop on my mini European tour is Italy.  I hope it’s at least half as fun as Rota was.  Until then…..Adios!!!