"A half truth is a whole lie" - Yiddish Proverb
What exactly is a "half truth"? Merrian-Webster defines is as "a statement that mingles truth and falsehood with deliberate intent to deceive."
I needed an example, so I went to my trusted, but untrusted friend, Wikipedia. Wiki's first example reads "You should not trust Peter with your children. I once saw him smack a child with his open hand." In this example the statement could be true, but Peter may have slapped the child on the back because he was choking.
Ok, got it. A half truth is not telling someone every detail. I'm sorry to say, that I am guilty of this type of lie. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with this. I choose not to tell every detail not because I am deliberately trying to deceive someone, but because I didn't think the detail was of any importance. The way I see it is it's either none of that persons business or that detail(s) has no bearing on the point of the statement itself. Apparently, I am in the minority on this one.
A good male friend of mine became very upset with me because I did not tell him the "whole truth" about my comings and goings. According to him, I should have told him every bit of detail as it pertains to my whereabouts. He felt I should have told him where I was going and who I was going with. Now, this is NOT my man, we are not dating, talking, courting, etc....we are just FRIENDS.
I'm am at a loss as to why I have to explain myself to him. The only person I have to explain myself too is the person I am in a relationship with, and that is IF I want too. There should be enough trust in the friendship/relationship where I shouldn't have to articulate my EVERY move. I should be able to say, "Yeah, I went to the mall today with some of the girls." Now, did I run into any of my male friends....yes. But do I need to tell him that?
I live my life on the "need to know" theory. If I am in some sort of committed relationship, then yes, I tell you everything you need to know. If we are in a sexual relationship, then yes, I need to tell you if I decide to sleep with someone else. I'll explain myself in detail to those that I have too. But if we are just friends, kicking it, etc...then you don't get that luxury....sorry.
It hurts me that my good male friend feels like I've deceived him in some way, shape or fashion; but I just don't see it. Perhaps it was my fault for being so forthright with all of my comings/goings. Maybe I should've provided him with every detail, but I know for a fact he didn't do the same with me. Not sure what is going to happen to our friendship because he seems pretty upset. My only question to him is, why?
Is there more to this "friendship" that I didn't know about? Does he secretly have feelings I don't know about? Is this the expectation he has on all of his friends?
Until he can answer one of those questions, if not all then he is one less person I have to worry about. I will miss the friendship, fun, advice, laughs, etc....but I refuse to provide answers to someone who doesn't deserve them.
What are your thoughts on half truths? Am I wrong? Is he wrong?
What exactly is a "half truth"? Merrian-Webster defines is as "a statement that mingles truth and falsehood with deliberate intent to deceive."
I needed an example, so I went to my trusted, but untrusted friend, Wikipedia. Wiki's first example reads "You should not trust Peter with your children. I once saw him smack a child with his open hand." In this example the statement could be true, but Peter may have slapped the child on the back because he was choking.
Ok, got it. A half truth is not telling someone every detail. I'm sorry to say, that I am guilty of this type of lie. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with this. I choose not to tell every detail not because I am deliberately trying to deceive someone, but because I didn't think the detail was of any importance. The way I see it is it's either none of that persons business or that detail(s) has no bearing on the point of the statement itself. Apparently, I am in the minority on this one.
A good male friend of mine became very upset with me because I did not tell him the "whole truth" about my comings and goings. According to him, I should have told him every bit of detail as it pertains to my whereabouts. He felt I should have told him where I was going and who I was going with. Now, this is NOT my man, we are not dating, talking, courting, etc....we are just FRIENDS.
I'm am at a loss as to why I have to explain myself to him. The only person I have to explain myself too is the person I am in a relationship with, and that is IF I want too. There should be enough trust in the friendship/relationship where I shouldn't have to articulate my EVERY move. I should be able to say, "Yeah, I went to the mall today with some of the girls." Now, did I run into any of my male friends....yes. But do I need to tell him that?
I live my life on the "need to know" theory. If I am in some sort of committed relationship, then yes, I tell you everything you need to know. If we are in a sexual relationship, then yes, I need to tell you if I decide to sleep with someone else. I'll explain myself in detail to those that I have too. But if we are just friends, kicking it, etc...then you don't get that luxury....sorry.
It hurts me that my good male friend feels like I've deceived him in some way, shape or fashion; but I just don't see it. Perhaps it was my fault for being so forthright with all of my comings/goings. Maybe I should've provided him with every detail, but I know for a fact he didn't do the same with me. Not sure what is going to happen to our friendship because he seems pretty upset. My only question to him is, why?
Is there more to this "friendship" that I didn't know about? Does he secretly have feelings I don't know about? Is this the expectation he has on all of his friends?
Until he can answer one of those questions, if not all then he is one less person I have to worry about. I will miss the friendship, fun, advice, laughs, etc....but I refuse to provide answers to someone who doesn't deserve them.
What are your thoughts on half truths? Am I wrong? Is he wrong?
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