Black Twitter Saves My Day

I'm SO tired of hearing about Miley Cyrus and her twerking at the VMAs.   As bad as the performance was, PLEASE let her live!!!!

What I find funny is that twerking has been around for decades, but is now considered a global phenomenon.  It is so mainsteam that ABC decided to do a special report about it.  

Well twitter decided to create a #ABCReports hashtag and here are the top tweets.

I hollered while reading this foolishness.  I needed the hearty laugh. 

Slow Down

Sometimes you gotta be still...take some time to clear your space. 

                                                                                            - India.Arie

I am constantly on the move. From the time I awaken each morning until I finally close my eyes to go to sleep, my mind and body is constantly on the go.   I head into the office, visit co-workers, handle complaints and take care of whatever else I need to do.  Once I clock out, I hot tail it to the gym because U feel like I HAVE to workout daily.  After my hour and a half to two hour workout, I go run errands.  I can go anywhere from the grocery store to the mall.  Once home, I cook, clean, shower and prepare for the next day.   By the time I lay myself down my mind, body and spirit is beat; but still running a mile a minute.

I rarely take time out for myself, for self care.  I don't stop and smell the roses...tend to my own garden because I'm too worried tending to others.  Removing their weeds, soothing their wounds, teaching them a new lesson.  

A few weeks ago a good Twitter friend sent me a text asking if I was still running myself into the ground. I chuckled at his question because I hadn't spoken with him in months, however, from our previous brief conversations,  he knows me.   A couple of days later, this same Twitter friend tweeted something along the lines of "Slow down before you kill yourself."  Feeling guilty I tweeted him back and told him to @ me next time.

  

Yes, I know I need to tend to my own emotional, physical, and physical needs, but I'm too busy being SuperWoman.  I feel the need to save the world, then I'll tend to myself.   I honestly don't know how to tend to my own needs......and that's sad.  

I'm so busy trying to run from my past that I fail to live in the present and unintentionally disrupt my future.   Perhaps I'm waiting for someone else to tend to my needs.  Someone to make me a priority.  What's stupid about that thought process is if EYE (misspelled on purpose) don't make myself a priority, then how can I expect someone else to do so.  

My new goal is to remove my cape and tend to the wounds I've ignored for years.  If I'm needed I'll still put on my vest with the "S" on my chest....but only AFTER I tend to myself.  A broken person can't be much help to another broken person.

Sleep

My mother loves to tell stories.

There is not a week that goes by where she doesn't remember something I did as a child.  Her eyes shine as she replays my foolishness in her head.  

One of the stories that she often tells me as I crawl in her bed is when she stopped letting me sleep in her room. 

I had to be about 7 or 8 and she had had enough.  I slept wild and would often kick her out of the bed.  She kept warning me that she was going to lock me out, but I didn't believe her.

Well one day it happened, she locked me out.  According to her I cried and eventually took residence in front of her bedroom door.  I did this for weeks.  

I just hated sleeping alone.....

One of the things I love about being in a relationship is being held while we sleep.  

When I'm asleep, I tend to let my guard down.....take off my Superwoman cape and be a woman.  I'm able to express my deepest fears without saying a word.

I feel protected.....wanted........needed........loved........free

I miss that feeling.

The Weight Is Up

**This is a frustration post**

I'm slowly losing my mind because I'm damn sure not losing any weight.  For the past year my weight has stayed between 157-163 lbs.  That may not sound like a lot, but it FEELS like a lot.  

My clothes are tighter.  

My legs have more jiggle.  

My shoulders are wider.  

I am fatter.

What frustrates me is that I work out A LOT! I am in the gym 5-7 days a week for at least an hour and a half.  Hell, yesterday I put in 2 hours and 43 mins between cardio and lifting weights.  

My eating is not the best....I have a sweet tooth.  But between all the time I spend in the gym I should at least lose a pound or two a month.  

This is insane!!!!

I know folks that workout, but drink and eat whatever they want, but somehow still manage to drop weight.  

I'm tempted to visit a plastic surgeon or find some weight loss meds.  I've been against it, but damn it, I'm tired of killing myself and eating like a bird.  

I want to be fit. 

I want to wear a size 6.

I want to feel smaller.

I want to be happy when I look in the mirror.

Kayne's workout plan is NOT working!

True Beauty

The Bible tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I was made in the glorious image of God.

God doesn’t make mistakes and I look the way He created me to be…..He loves my look.

I’ll be honest; there are days when I don’t feel beautiful at all.  I avoid the mirror and people because I don’t feel pretty. 

At times when I’m around my friends I feel like the ugly duckling because they are all so beautiful.  I seriously hang around some gorgeous women.

Angel has big, pretty hazel eyes that command attention.  Chrisna has the best smile and teeth that brightens up a room.  Kim has beautiful skin….it glows.  Lo has a collar-bone and dimples to die for.  Jennifer has the perfect face. 

What do I have???  A nice butt???  Thick thighs??  I can list each and every flaw.  Point out a negative for every positive.

A part of me wants to blame my father for not instilling in me how beautiful I was……but that would be too easy. 

It’s called SELF-esteem, not DAD-esteem.  I’m sure having my dad tell me I was beautiful would’ve helped, but I doubt that would change the way EYE see myself.  What others see don’t mean much if EYE don’t see it.

What’s the old adage, seeing is believing.  Well I’m working on it.

On the days when I feel less than pretty I try to look in the mirror and find something nice about myself.  I also remind myself of the above mentioned scripture. 

I’m trying to behold my own beauty instead of focusing on the beauty of others.

 

Big Heart

Since I was a young person I've always been told I had the gift of "helps" because I love helping others....especially those facing hard times.

For the pass two years I've put together some sort of charity event. Whether it was was coat drive or collecting canned foods, I enjoyed every aspect of the event from start to finish.

This year I have a few ideas and I'm realizing I need to get the planning process started. I'm afraid it may be too late for one of them.

Here are my ideas......

1. School supply drive....I think I messed up by nothing thinking to do this back in early/mid July. I don't have enough time to plan, market and execute tge event I have in my head.  I did ask the fans of Blessed Body Fitness to donate in their local areas and I volunteered to sponsor four school bags. That will have to wirk until next year.

2. HashtagLunchBag is an awesome non-profit that hands out brown paper bag lunches to local homeless men, women and children. This, I REALLY want to do. I figure if I start planning now I can collaborate with GLE and maybe the Fab Body Factory. Between the three of us there should be good turnout, which means helping more people :-)

3. A sock and/or blankey drive.  I don't even know how I want to execute this. Any ideas?

Remember that we were put on this earth to serve others. Find an organization or another way to give back.....it will make your heart smile.

Ice Cube

I'm realizing I like to be in control.....of everything. 

I like to control where I go, what I do, what others do and anything else I think can control.  I guess that comes from not having a lot of control over my life as a child. 

Well today I had no control. 

In my mind I had my Sunday planned.  I was going to get up, stream church online, workout with a friend, grab some lunch, go grocery shopping, prep my meals for the week and prepare for work. 

Yea, things didn't happen that way.

I got up, streamed church and the rest of my day was totally unexpected. 

A friend and I grabbed a late breakfast, did a little grocery shopping, walked around Savage Mill, grabbed lunch, went paddle boating and walked around Laurel Lake. 

While I hate not having control, I must admit I loved the change of pace. 

Today was a good day!

 

Everybody Get Up

Those that know me know I love to dance.  I will dance anywhere and to anything. I've danced in the street....in random stores.....at work....in the gym, mid workout.

One of my favorite R&B crooner, Robin Thicke, released my new favorite summer jam....Blurred Lines. The track features T.I. and Pharrel. The beat is a sample from an old Marvin Gaye tune.  The song will make you dance.  Like you could be mid prayer and will probably start dancing while talking to Jesus.

Ok, ok, ok.....maybe I would start dancing mid prayer....don't judge me.

Imagine how excited I was when Robin Thicke, The Roots and Jimmy Fallon performed the song with school instruments!  You know, the things we didn't really want to play with once we entered 6th grade.  I'm talking about the cow bell, maracas, and spoons!

 

Did you just get out of your seat?

I did!

What's so awesome about this besides the fact that I love the song is Robin sounds so good!  Not mention the faces the men were making while playing their instruments.  The dude playing the xylophone was the best! 

What do you think?  Do you know the line dance?

Thankful for the Painful Lesson

I broke my nose a few weeks ago.  I know, I know….poor me.   I’ll save you all the details, but just know I got into a fight with a 35lb weight plate and a fly.  

During the course of stopping the blood and cleaning up the weight area, I told my mentor I was 
done with my workout for the day.  I mean I had just completed 40 mins of cardio and about 30 mins of weight training.  I think I had satisfied government recommendations.   

After I applied a bandage to my nose and ensured the only way someone would know there was blood in the room was if they went through there with a black light; I told myself I could finish the workout. 

Then I told my mentor.....She looked at me like I had lost my mind.  She asked is I was sure….double sure….triple sure. 

I confirmed I was and we finished our workout.  I then went on to look at homes, complete my weekly grocery shopping and my meal prep for the week. 

It wasn’t until later that I went to a local urgent care facility and was told my nose was broken.  I was blessed to have a clean break, so no resetting was necessary.  

I was knocked down, but not knocked out. 

As much as I hate to admit it; that’s been my life.  

I’ve found myself in pain; be it mental, physical, emotional or spiritual.  Sometimes the pain was self inflicted, others it was not.  Despite my pain, I’ve always been able to continue with what I was doing, even when my initial reaction was to give up. 

I needed to be reminded of this lesson today.  I was minding my business, in a happy place, but over the course of a few hours I was knocked down.

The house I wanted, I don’t think I will be able to comfortably afford. 

A guy I was interesting in, I’m realizing has a lot of BS with him.

The weight I was hoping to lose is still here. 

I called my girlfriend, she prayed. 

I talked to my work mentor and she reminded me how far I’ve come.

I talked to my kindred twin and she invited me to her house for a home cooked meal.

I touched my still-healing nose and remembered I can handle the pain and full healing will come….in time!

One is Silver and the Other's Gold

My Girls and I ;-) We are always the best dressed where ever we go!

"No new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no, no new" - Drake

Oh, Drake seems to be a poor, misguided soul at times (remember YOLO!).  Earlier this year, the famed DJ Khaled produced a song entitled No New Friends featuring Drake, Lil Wayne and Rick Ross.

The premise of the track is only remaining friends to those who have been with you from day 1.

The folks that were in the trenches with you.

I personally don't understand or agree with this new mantra.  As individuals, we change, and in some cases grow.  If two people are changing/growing in opposite directions then what is the point in remaining friends with him/her?

I understand that building a friendship, a good friendship, takes time and effort from both individuals.  As we get older and gain more responsibility, we may not have as much free time to make new friends.  We may not want to open ourselves up to new ideas and new people.

That's BS!  By not opening ourselves up to new experiences, etc we are stunting our growth.  We are not allowing ourselves to reach or full potential.

In the past year or two, I've gone against Drake's wisdom and have made new friends.  These young ladies and gentleman have played integral roles in my recovering and growth from a traumatic situation.

One young lady has soothed my crying heart with prayer and Christian wisdom.  She has provided me advice, at times when I don't ask for it, which has helped me heal.  She has become like a big sister to me.

Another young lady has literally walked a mile in my shoes.  Our experiences are almost exactly the same. Through her blog posts and gentle words, she has aided in my healing process.  She has opened my eyes to doing new things.  We have laughed and cried together.  Danced and shopped together.  She is truly one on my closet friends.

Another young lady has gotten me out of the house.  She has shown me that I didn't miss out on the "best years of my life" because I was playing the wifey role.  She encourages me to "do me" and live life.  When we go out, it is ALWAYS a good time.

My new gentleman friend has been through two divorces and lived a long life.  He always reminds me to believe in myself and trust God's plan..even when I don't feel like it.

If I had followed to Drake's wisdom, then I would have missed out on SO many great people and experiences that have enhanced my life.

I'm lucky enough to have been a Girl's Scout when I was younger.  One of our favorite songs to sing was Make New Friends.  I'm truly thankful I'm living up to the Girl's Scout honor!