Last night I attended Bible study at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden; as I have done for the past four or five months. I was expecting a “normal” Bible study…You know where the Pastor Jenkins has a topic with several points to follow. Well I guess Pastor was not in the mood for all of that, so he decided to have a Q&A session. My immediate response was to leave…..because I came to study the Bible….duh!
However, something in me decided to stay and it was an interesting time. Most of those who were brave enough to ask questions asked relationship-type questions. Be it harsh critique from a spouse to over-bearing parents in relationships to marrying someone because they are with child.
The awesome thing about these questions was the Pastor shared insight into his relationship with the First Lady. While he expressed how they were friends for years first and how she is the ultimate Christian woman, they have been able to make it through the “winter” seasons by communicating.
While that is nothing new, the way he framed it was. In addition to “date” nights they also have “critique” night. Nights were they sit down and listen. Like REALLY listen. They talk about the thing(s) the other has done to hurt them over a period of time. They discuss ways to effectively communicate with one another.
Just like that performance feedback your supervisor gives you at work throughout the year. You know the conversations where they tell you what you are doing right, wrong and ways to improve to meet the objectives of your position. Some of those conversations are good, while others are bad. In any event, they are ALL useful.
I love that! Most times in pervious relationships I either didn’t say anything when I felt hurt or I would say it in the wrong ways. I would blow up. I wouldn’t articulate myself in a manner that would get my point across. I would say things out of hurt and that never solved a thing.
Going forward, I want to do things differently. I want to have a healthy relationship all the way around. I’m a firm believer that miscommunication is just as bad as lack of trust. Without communication a relationship is destined to end. It just is. There is no way to cultivate a relationship that is dead.
My Pastor and his wife have been married for over 33 years. I’m just trying to make it to 33 weeks, lol. I think I will institute those “critique” nights to learn how to communicate with my dude….Maybe then I can make it to 33 months and hopefully one day, 33 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR5J5jUDcnA
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