Spring Cleaning

It's that time of year when most start cleaning out closets, storage units, etc as the weather starts heating up.  Last night I found myself spring cleaning.  I was looking for a work-related item and stumbled upon items from my past.  I found several hand written versions of my wedding guest list and reception venues. See, on Monday I should be celebrating one year of marriage....but I'm not. 

I never got to wear the Alfred Angelo cream dress with stunning beading, send out invitations to one of the biggest events in my life, dance with my husband, repeat vows in front of God and loved one.  Instead we postponed our wedding for a yet to be determined date.  Then we broke it off all together. 

I'm sure it sounds like I am bitter, but I'm not.  I will admit to being a little sad about the situation.  We had built a life together....joint accounts, nice townhome in the Bowie area, a child (really a pet dog named Storm who is like my child), etc. 

Although a lot of time has passed since we called it quits for good, seeing those items brought back old feelings of love, anger, failure.  For a brief second I wished things were different, better.  But the reality is things are what they are and I am finally at a place where I can say "I'm fine with that."  Our relationship has ran its course and our season is over.  While it hurt like hell in the beginning I'm a stronger person because of it. 

Some of the items I threw away and the others I packed neatly in a box.  I plan to put a lot of stuff in that box, mark it and store it away.  Not sure what I'm going to do with that stunning wedding dress.  Still haven't built up the nerve to take it out of my mother's house.  I know there is no need to hold on to it, but that dress is....breath-taking (especially with me in it, lol).  Maybe I'll just pack it away too.  When the time is right I'll know.

I'm ready for spring.  Not just because of the warmer weather, but because it is a sign of the changing seasons.  Spring is about new beginnings, warmth, family and fun.  I'm looking forward to all of that as the seasons change.  Hopefully when fall rolls around I'll be planting my roots in better soil. :-)

Ecc 3:1-9

Happy Spring!

**UPDATE**

The day has come and gone....I made it. It was VERY hard I must say.  I ended up sleeping most o the day. I did manage to get a workout in.  It still hurts.......