Thanks to my blogger friend 29toLife, I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships. You know, the normal things: how he make me feels, his character, what he looks like and the such.
I've realized that my "wants and needs" have changed over the years. Back in my hay day, what I wanted was rather simple...He needed to be attractive, doing something with his life and make me smile.
Oh, if things were that simple now. Over the past two years or so I've been attempting to become more selective about what gentleman I give my time too. As I look back, it has been a serious struggle.
I've met an anti-corn syrup dude.
A convicted felon accused of attempted murder.
A nice southern boy who had "hand" problems.
A Air Force vet who had no idea what he wanted.....Two of them actually.
A 120% frugal cynic.
A alcoholic who drank and smoked everyday....Like no days off.
Despite there descriptions, the ones I actually tried to get to know had good qualities, but "something" was missing. I didn't feel that sense of love, comfort, security, friendship......wantness.
Now that I am older and experienced various relationships I have a better idea of what I want from a relationship. How I want to be treated. The physical aspect doesn't matter as much to me anymore; I just need to be remotely attracted to him.
His true character, who and what he is that really matters the most.
He needs to be a Believer in Christ. He MUST have a relationship with God. There is no other way. We must be on the same page spiritually. As a guest Pastor said in a sermon a few weeks ago, "in order to build a better home we have to be equally yoked; just as we are equal in a relationship." I want to talk about scripture, maybe do a few Bible studies, pray together.....
He must be respectful. He needs to respect himself, me and others. He must respect himself enough to take care of himself mentally, physically and spiritually. He must respect me by knowing I am a woman, not a girl nor one of his buddies, so the way we interact would have to be different. He must respect others by not doing anything to purposely harm another.
He must have a goal(s). It doesn't matter what that goal is as long as it is something productive. If he wants to open a business, pursue it. If he wants to advance in his current position, take the steps to do so.
He must be supportive. I am a BIG cheerleader for those I love and I need the same in return. I need him to believe in me as I believe in him. When I'm having a down day, his supportiveness will help lift me up.
He must know how to communicate. I love to talk. I'm a firm believer that miscommunication will ruin a relationship. I want him to talk to me when things are good, bad and indifferent. When I bring things to him, it is my hope he will actively listen and not become defensive if I take issue with something he has done.
He must want to have fun. As I have gotten older, I realize how much fun it was to be a kid. I need someone who is unafraid to be a kid with me. Let's go rock climbing, play putt-putt golf, painting, build playhouses and the such. Not saying EVERY activity would be "kid stuff" because I do like "grown folk" stuff (romance, movies, dancing, etc) as well.
All in all, I want to feel secure, wanted, valued and young when I am with this man.
These are my top 6 things. Of course there are other little details, but theses are my must-haves. What about yours?
Ok, so this song doesn't really match the post, but I love the message that's someone can be perfect for me :-)
I've realized that my "wants and needs" have changed over the years. Back in my hay day, what I wanted was rather simple...He needed to be attractive, doing something with his life and make me smile.
Oh, if things were that simple now. Over the past two years or so I've been attempting to become more selective about what gentleman I give my time too. As I look back, it has been a serious struggle.
I've met an anti-corn syrup dude.
A convicted felon accused of attempted murder.
A nice southern boy who had "hand" problems.
A Air Force vet who had no idea what he wanted.....Two of them actually.
A 120% frugal cynic.
A alcoholic who drank and smoked everyday....Like no days off.
Despite there descriptions, the ones I actually tried to get to know had good qualities, but "something" was missing. I didn't feel that sense of love, comfort, security, friendship......wantness.
Now that I am older and experienced various relationships I have a better idea of what I want from a relationship. How I want to be treated. The physical aspect doesn't matter as much to me anymore; I just need to be remotely attracted to him.
His true character, who and what he is that really matters the most.
He needs to be a Believer in Christ. He MUST have a relationship with God. There is no other way. We must be on the same page spiritually. As a guest Pastor said in a sermon a few weeks ago, "in order to build a better home we have to be equally yoked; just as we are equal in a relationship." I want to talk about scripture, maybe do a few Bible studies, pray together.....
He must be respectful. He needs to respect himself, me and others. He must respect himself enough to take care of himself mentally, physically and spiritually. He must respect me by knowing I am a woman, not a girl nor one of his buddies, so the way we interact would have to be different. He must respect others by not doing anything to purposely harm another.
He must have a goal(s). It doesn't matter what that goal is as long as it is something productive. If he wants to open a business, pursue it. If he wants to advance in his current position, take the steps to do so.
He must be supportive. I am a BIG cheerleader for those I love and I need the same in return. I need him to believe in me as I believe in him. When I'm having a down day, his supportiveness will help lift me up.
He must know how to communicate. I love to talk. I'm a firm believer that miscommunication will ruin a relationship. I want him to talk to me when things are good, bad and indifferent. When I bring things to him, it is my hope he will actively listen and not become defensive if I take issue with something he has done.
He must want to have fun. As I have gotten older, I realize how much fun it was to be a kid. I need someone who is unafraid to be a kid with me. Let's go rock climbing, play putt-putt golf, painting, build playhouses and the such. Not saying EVERY activity would be "kid stuff" because I do like "grown folk" stuff (romance, movies, dancing, etc) as well.
All in all, I want to feel secure, wanted, valued and young when I am with this man.
These are my top 6 things. Of course there are other little details, but theses are my must-haves. What about yours?
Ok, so this song doesn't really match the post, but I love the message that's someone can be perfect for me :-)
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