Competing Scriptures

Competing Scriptures……….

I read a devotional this afternoon while eating my lunch.  The subject of the passage was trust God more and try doing things on our own less.  According to the author, you are truly surrendered if you are:

·         Following God’s lead without knowing where he’s sending you.

·         Waiting for God’s timing without knowing when it will come.

·         Expecting a miracle without knowing how God will provide.

·         Trusting God’s purpose without understanding the circumstances.

I’ll be honest, none of this is me.  I’m not totally surrendered per those requirements, although I thought I was.  I’ll follow God’s lead, but I want to know where I am going.  I’ll wait on God, but I do ask “how long”?  I pray for a miracle, but I want to know if God will provide it in the exact way I want it.  I trust God’s purpose for me, but dang it, I want to understand the “why” behind it all. 

The part that really hit home and had me weeping at my desk was this:

“The supreme example of self-surrender is Jesus. The night before his crucifixion, Jesus surrendered himself to God’s plan. He prayed, "Father, everything is possible for You. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want Your will, not mine.”

Jesus didn’t pray, "God, if You’re able to take away this pain, please do so." He began by affirming that God can do anything! He prayed, "God, if it is in Your best interest to remove this suffering, please do so. But if it fulfills Your purpose, that’s what I want, too."

Genuine surrender says, “Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, or circumstance is needed to fulfill Your purpose and glory in my life or in another’s life, please don’t take it away!"

What!?!?!? How on earth is MY suffering going to fulfill a purpose?!?!?  Like, I know myself and others will learn from the situation, but staying in it???  Like forever, ever!?!?!?

As I’ve been going through my storms over the past two years, I have NEVER asked God to NOT take away my pain.  In fact, I pray every night that he takes it away and heals my mind, heart and body. Oh, and I wanted it taken away like last year!!!!

I’ve never thought about the fact that perhaps God is allowing me to experience this pain, guilt, hurt, embarrassment and the such to help someone else.  My thought process was that my TESTIMONY will help someone….You know, the mess that turns into a message. 

Definitely, didn’t think that this is something I will go through until my death. 

I’ve always held on to Jeremiah 9:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Going through this storm for the rest of my life is not exactly how I interpreted the words “prosper, not harm, hope and future.”  My guess is I need God’s dictionary.  Or to get on board with His will for my life and suck it up.

The scripture is right; “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts.”