I'm going to be honest, I'm a great actress. Some may even call me phenomenal. I have a way of playing the role that everything in my life is ok. My mask is flawless.
I can keep this acting thing up for weeks...even months and some would never guess that it is all a facade. I'm just reading from the script of what my life is supposed to be.
If you know me, then you know it's rare for me to yell, curse, scream, say anything negative about anyone or myself. That's how it appears...on the inside I'm cussing and fussing.
I've been acting for so long that I think the person in the mirror is really me...that I'm living the life I've always wanted. Well last night I took my mask off.
Looking back at me was someone I didn't recognize. A young girl with emotional and spiritual wounds that won't seem to heal no matter how hard I pray. A woman who may never get married or have a child(ren). A young person who feels like giving up.
Yes, I'm great at encouraging others, that's what actresses do....but for myself, not so much.
I'm tired of acting, but I can't stand the reality of my life......I just wish the credits would roll.
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